Jokes Only

1.
Why don't you come to office with your car, madam?
Oh dear, I do not have sufficient money to buy petrol every day!! I purchased the car to envy my neighbor!
*****
2.
When you have so much wealth, why don't you buy a mobile phone, sir?
No one phones me, dear !!
*****
3.
Your teenaged daughter makes faces at me!!
Becuase you 56-year-old-butler said that you want to marry her!
*****
4.
I can't believe that you are B.Sc.!!
Of course, I am!
Then which subjects did you take in B.Sc.?
Arts!
*****
5.
Can you tell me something about tourism industry in Goa?
Yes, Sir! That the 'phonren' tourists bring in a lot of phoren exchange to Goa!
*****
6.
What will you do if I die before you, my sweet heart?
I shall be the first one to come to your funeral!
*****
7.
Your command of English is very poor - how did you pass your graduation?
By copying, sir!!

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Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time."

I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.



The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.