Tuesday, October 2, 2007

 

Cool Laws

Murphy's Law of Copiers:
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

Becker's Law:
It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Belle's Constant:
The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Benchley's Law:
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

Brooks's Law:
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Cannon's Comment:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Coolidge's Immutable Observation:
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.

Committee Rules:
1. Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
2. Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
3. Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
4. When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
5. Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular -- it's what everyone is waiting for.

Conway's Law #1
If you assign N persons to write a compiler you'll get a N-1 pass compiler.

Conway's Law #2
In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. -> This person must be fired.

Cook's Law:
Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Cropp's Law:
The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Kelly's Law:
An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him.

Nick the Greek's Law:
All things considered, life is 9-to-5 against.

Professional's Law:
Doctors, dentists, and lawyers are only on time for appointments when you're not.

Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labour:
People are always available for work in the past tense.

Heller's observation :
I love work. I can sit and watch it done for hours.

Clyde's Law :
If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are someone else will do it for you.

Crane's Rule :
There are three ways to get something done:
do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

Weiler's Law :
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Moer's Truism :
The trouble with most jobs is the resemblance to being in a sledge dog team. No one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Comments:
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